The insects chirping, the monotonous sound of the fan blowing, and the occasional bird calling. I lay in my hammock, swaying back and forth.  I had my three-year-old curled up next to me trying to fall asleep. As the evening turned to night, I lay there, deep in thought. I’ve had so many thoughts running through my mind recently, many of which are difficult to put into words. I think of my return to the States in a few short weeks, the goodbyes, the unbearable feelings I will have to face, has it been worth it? I know it has, but it hurts. The sacrifices I have made this year have been minuscule and seemingly shallow compared to the one God made for us. I have built lasting connections and made meaningful impacts. So why does it hurt? Sin... we are human. God did not create us for “goodbye’s”, He created us for “forever’s”. This lesson I learned at a young age, but it doesn’t ever get easier. I hope and pray that I will see every single kid here in heaven one day. I pray that maybe, we were able to touch their hearts and bring them to God. As I had these thoughts, I looked down at the now sleeping child laying next to me. How can such a young soul have already lived such a difficult life? I thought of what his future may look like. How could I go back to a happy life, with stability, comfort, and opportunity? In that moment, I pulled him close, as if my hugs would keep him safe forever. But they won’t. I’m about to leave, and it feels like I am abandoning these kids. However, I know deep down, that they are in the hands of One much greater, who will truly protect them forever. God cares about us more than we can ever imagine. In this I find comfort. 

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"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭38‬-‭39‬ ‭ESV

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